7th December 2019

Half Moon first quarter viewed form Finland

The Moon was so gorgeous.

One of those moments when I see something we all take for granted; looking so majestic in the sky; just coming home from buying groceries.

I am off anti-depressants since 7 days ago.

I have a weird relationship with Instagram.

I feel slightly lost when it comes to my public identity; I thought I was a business person; I thought I was a spiritual teacher; I thought I was a multitalented tarot reader-astrologer-starseed.

But in that mess of niches I lost my truth. I lost my reason. I knew I was doing it for the right reasons, for a good cause, but I over-defined it.

I made it into a box that only limited me.

It made me too much “one thing”. It caught me in the “hamster wheel”. It made me DESPERATE for a result other than rejection. Of ignoring. Of carelessness.

I forgot the fact that creating content is my nature.

I forgot how much it nourishes me; how much MORE it nourishes me rather than going after people on social media and relying on sale offers to gain income.

I will not stop doing readings.

I will not stop marketing them.

I will, however, focus on the strategy that brings me joy and keeps me sane.

So yeah, I won’t discount the quality of my work.

It’s only after I quit my meds that I realised these feelings. I shed a few tears as I was writing this.

I don’t know what else to say.

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