Upper limit symptoms are true, i see them in my psyche reappearing when I’m down. I’ve had a few beliefs about success in the past. I thought I was faulty. That I would be abandoned, a burden. …
An extreme way I came accross the last 2 was here in London. I felt as if I wasnt supposed to stick with this person because I was a burden to them and that they would abandon me if i were true to myself. I’ve had some really fucked up paranoid thoughts about how this person feels about me. But after kicking that ego to the trash bin I’m seeing it as my personal projection of my unusual independence. We both do it, There’s something within both of our souls that should be attended to. Thats why people say: their words about you are just a reflection of their inner state. Nothing to do with you, in the end. They just need to be open towards their triggers.
Abandoned by my success – by showing my emotions I am successful. I am successful when I express myself.
Success as a burden – when i have the guts to feel, I shake things up. I cannot predict my mood. Often for no reason I get a crappy mood. I also misread things. But I acknowledge my faults. Flaws, everything. Many of these were just really weird nitpicky things that blew up way too much. And next thing I know I’m feeling shattered and ready to jump (off a cliff)….
There’s so many other things too… Some really deep things. —-